Green

Have I posted about envy before?

It's an ugly, embarrassing emotion.

One that eats at you and makes you feel bad about yourself, your life, your world...

The thing I hate most is when I'm envious of something that I don't even really want but I start to question my own wants - like - what's wrong with me? Why don't I want what they want? What they have?

I think the thing I want that they have is their happiness, joy.

It makes me feel very small when I feel like this.

I have a good life - but sometimes I think there are parts of me that are empty that need to be sought out and filled.
They won't be filled by obtaining what someone else has.

Only by figuring out what's missing.

I am tired of this battle.