I've been thinking about my million dollar post from yesterday.
The one where I said I'd quit my job.

That's kind of a big thing for me.

When I told fella last night, his response was "Why? What happened?"

My answer?

Nothing happened. It's just that everything I do there

is meaningless.

I know how harsh that sounds. I work at a university.
What I do affects people. Makes things better for them (most of the time.)

But people are greedy.

The more you give, the more they want.

I can't tell you how many people ask me to remind them of what I've said in an email 
because they can't be bothered to look it up.
Or, even worse - ask me what THEY told me in an email that they wrote!

So I do a lot of things in duplicate

because they are busy.

They know that I'm reliable. That I'm always here. That I'll know the answer to their question.

That I am, so to speak, a one stop shop.

I used to pride myself on being like this.

But now I see that it really doesn't matter.

Because people aren't  interested in you

They are just interested in getting what they want.

They just want to take take take until the source is exhausted.

I know I sound

cynical

jaded

bitter

unhappy

but I'm really not.

I'm just realizing that the value in what I do is not what I thought it was.

And I'm asking myself - can you do this for another 20 years?