Hello Hope

You know how a lot of things start out as one thing but end up as something completely different? I think that's what this blog is going to be. I started writing a post about how my life has changed and all that kind of jazz and while all that is true, I don't know that I want this to be about that. I will probably share that stuff because it's important to me and may, at times, be interesting and amusing, but I am trying to make a change and not let one thing be all encompassing. I like to write. I don't think I'm a great writer but I would like to develop and this may be a good way to cut my baby teeth.

Here's the story -

I've started reading blogs very recently and have become hooked on many. The last two months have been very rough. The last four have been very revealing. I am trying, in my 38th year, to live a life that has meaning and depth and yes, happiness. I am trying to silence the demons that plague my brain and self-esteem and trying to figure out how I ended up the way I am - good and bad. I think blogging will be like therapy - you don't have to get everything out all at once. There's lots of time. There's every day. And one thing I've learned to love about life - you get a chance at a fresh start everyday so if you perpetually screw it up, rather than kick yourself and spiral downwards, go to bed and wake up the next day and try something different - to break the pattern, to see things from another angle, to find hope again. Because if you can, you may find that it's not as bad as you thought it was yesterday.