whine

Why is it that there are so many things in this world that give us instant gratification but then turn out that they only make us feel worse?

Like chocolate?
or shopping?
or alcohol?

You know what else gets added to my list?
Complaining.
I go through periods where I complain endlessly.
There is very little that is redeeming about this, but like I said, at the time, it feels great. (especially if you have someone egging you on)

But then, if you have any awareness (or hindsight) you start to recognize that your egger's eyes have started to glaze over and their shoulders have drooped.
And why?
Because you have sucked all of their energy out of them and they have started to resent your rant.

How do you turn it off?
How do you change gears and try to ac-cent-uate the positive?
For me, sometimes I can and sometimes I can't. I wish I could be more consistent.
Sometimes I wish I could be less reactive, less emotional, be more of a "shrug it off" kind of girl.
But I'm not.
And I'm well on my way to 40 so I'm beginning to suspect that my mood makeover isn't happening anytime soon.

I think I need a vacation.