If someone asked you right now. at this moment:
What do you want?
What would you say?
Do you feel like you know yourself enough to answer this question?
It's always been a stumbling block for me.
When I ask myself this -
my mind goes blank.
I can't see beyond the immediate (coffee, a new book, a nap)
and think bigger.
But I want to.
I know I keep bringing up my age but it's really weighing on me.
The pressure to figure it out.
To live with the decisions I've made.
To settle.
When in fact,
I want to choose my own adventure.
I don't want to feel like I've given up
(which some days, I really, really do. It's exhausting to be enthusiastic all or even part of the time.)
But I hate feeling like every day is the same.
How do you make one day differ from the next?
How do you keep your life spicy (or at least interesting?)
What makes life feel ok to you?
2 comments:
i love that - keeping life spicy!
my kitties keep it spicy. trying new foods keeps it spicy. i spend a lot of time dreaming up possibilities and envisioning potential futures. this can be a bad thing, but mostly it's a good thing.
how do i make one day differ from the next? usually by remembering it is actually a different day, therefore new good things can happen. we can start anew every day. at least i *try* to remember that.
also, when you think you've given up, maybe you've just given *into* the day. maybe there is a positive element of letting go of expectations...
what is the settling you talk about?
xox
I think it's a combination of settling for a life different than what I had envisioned and settling down. I don't necessarily mean settle in a bad way. I think you're right, though, you can give up on the day. Not on the everything.
Do you remember the choose your own adventure books? I loved those....
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