We will turn this car around...

If someone asked you right now. at this moment:

What do you want?

What would you say?

Do you feel like you know yourself enough to answer this question?

It's always been a stumbling block for me.

When I ask myself this  -

my mind goes blank.

I can't see beyond the immediate (coffee, a new book, a nap)

and think bigger.

But I want to.

I know I keep bringing up my age but it's really weighing on me.

The pressure to figure it out.

To live with the decisions I've made.

To settle.

When in fact,

I want to choose my own adventure.

I don't want to feel like I've given up

(which some days, I really, really do. It's exhausting to be enthusiastic all or even part of the time.)

But I hate feeling like every day is the same.

How do you make one day differ from the next?

How do you keep your life spicy (or at least interesting?)

What makes life feel ok to you?

Forty and Fit

In 6 months, I turn 40.

If you sense dread in that comment, you are on the right track.

I've never been particularly bothered by my age but I think 40 is going to be a toughie.

I've also been growing in girth as well as age (doesn't THAT sound atractive? Oh it is.)
So I've decided to get it under control by January 31st.
That gives me 6 months to lost weight, get active, get a grip.
I've made these promises to myself before and they've gone down in flames almost every time but this time
will be different.

It has to be.