these days

my brain is full.

every day is a race.

an hour by hour race

and at the end

I feel like i've gotten nowhere.

now that may sound really negative

and I don't mean it to

because in a lot of ways

I am more 

awake

than I've been in a long time.

I feel weighty responsibility on my shoulders

but it isn't heavy

(if that makes any sense at all.)

I am looking forward to a two week break in December

to give it all a rest

but until then

I'm going to bed early

eating my vegetables

and feeling physically good.

and each day

the race continues