seven of seven: January 1, 2018

I am excited about the New Year.

I don't want to be cynical and criticize
those who make promises to themselves

that they will likely never keep.

I think that whether you are

trying to change

or be better

or be more of one thing

and less of something else

There's nothing wrong with embracing a time

that is (or could be)

of renewal.

There is something energizing about looking back

but moreso about looking forward.

My 2017 had it's ups and downs

but I feel like there were more ups than downs.

We went camping this summer and fell in love with it.
We did a road trip home to the east coast
and discovered new places we are determined to return to.

We went to Cozumel for the first time and loved it.
We hosted two of my brothers
and their families for Thanksgiving
- my first time preparing a sit down meal for my family -
and it was a success.

I felt as though I had some big changes in my inner life too -
I started yoga in November 2016 and I am still with it.
It has helped me see the good in people.
Kindness.
It calms me and helps me believe in others as well as myself
but it has also made me stronger.

I have been in therapy for about the same time.
I was lucky to meet someone at a critical time.
She has helped open me up and create more space
- to breathe, to live more how I want to.
I am so changed by that.
It was hard, still is sometimes,
but I am so, so much better.
It was worth it.

My health was not great this year.
I had months of discomfort and pain.
I was finally diagnosed with seronegative arthritis in December.
It's frustrating and painful
but I've learned (am still learning)
to live with it and work around it
and I'm relieved that it wasn't something more serious.

I read 48 books this year.

I tried to slow down and do one thing at a time.
Sometimes I can do that
and sometimes I still can't.

Perhaps the most important part of this past year
is that I feel closer now
to knowing who I really am

and to being ok with it.
Really, truly ok.

Imagine that.

I'll be 47 in 30 days.
It's about time.